Anxiety Therapist in Orange County, CA
Online therapy for anxiety in California and Florida
Calming the mind
Calming the body
Anxiety does not have to be so scary
Does this sound familiar…
You find yourself often thinking about what to say to someone and you hesitate because you are concerned the person will not like what you say and could be upset with you. You are so worried about someone being upset with you that you hold back but you spend the day feeling frustrated with yourself for not saying what is on your mind. You’re stuck because if you say what you think, others might be upset but if you don’t say anything, you feel upset with yourself. You can’t win!
You come home from a social event utterly exhausted from all the “peopling” and you find yourself re-playing entire conversations and cringing at the things you said. You wonder if others think you are as awkward as you think you are. You wonder if you have upset someone or said something that was not tactful and now even though you got home and are so happy to be alone, you find yourself re-playing conversations and feelings of shame wash over you.
You find yourself having a difficult time making decisions. You don’t trust yourself and you go to others for their thoughts and opinions but then you have too much information and you’re even further away from knowing what to do. You may even struggle with making a decision on what to eat for dinner. It all feels like too much! Too much pressure to “do things right” and so you find yourself avoiding decisions altogether. Your mind is always spinning with doubts. “What if I make the wrong decision?”, “What if this goes poorly?”, “What if I can’t handle this?”
You end up wide awake at 2AM with a racing heart and panicked thoughts. You start feeling even more anxious because you are awake and wondering if you will be able to go back to sleep. You start to think, “Okay, if I get four more hours, it will be okay”. Then you start to think about all the things you need to take care of today and wondering if you have time to do it all and how well you will be able to function if you cannot go back to sleep. You tell your body to relax, you tell your brain to calm down but it’s now 3AM and you are still awake.
And where does this get you?
Distancing yourself or avoiding interacting with people because you’re afraid of upsetting them or are convinced you already have
Your social life or your career feels stagnant because you are too afraid to try meeting new people or going for that promotion
Difficulties concentrating and being irritable and snappy with coworkers, friends and loved ones because you’re tired all the time
Feeling like your body has been hijacked because you feel tense and constricted in your body and you cannot make it relax despite your best efforts
Somatic issues such as going to the ER because you think you are having a heart attack (it MAY be a panic attack), stomach issues and migraines
The possibilities of therapy…
You feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings to others. While you are considerate of others needs, you also are considerate of yours and that means you know that sometimes you need to put yourself first. You confidently express yourself when you feel slighted or hurt and your voice sounds strong but relaxed. Because you are able to have these deeper conversations, you tend to surround yourself with people who can tolerate ruptures and you feel closer for it.
You look forward to being invited to social events. You think about who you will see and what you want to share with them. While at the party, you seamlessly mingle with your friends and maybe some new faces. You feel comfortable and feel a sense of belonging with your friends. You feel refreshed from seeing them and eager to get together again. When you come home, you easily wind down and fall asleep to thoughts of how much you laughed tonight.
You, like all others, are sometimes faced with difficult decisions. Rather than seeking every single other person’s opinion (even the facebook support group strangers), you maybe talk to a few people you love and admire and maybe you do some research but ultimately you make the decision yourself. You feel comfortable holding space for the unknown and you know that no matter what happens, you trust that you are capable of getting through hard things.
You find that it is easy to fall asleep around your bedtime. You tend to think about the things you are grateful for in life now and the things you are looking forward to as you fall asleep. If you do wake up, you easily fall back asleep without worries about whether you will go back to sleep. You wake feeling refreshed and eager to greet the day.
Together, we will look at the root of the anxiety so we can make sense of why your mind and body are alarmed. Everything has a cause afterall. I want you to learn how to validate your own feelings and to be able to say to yourself, “it makes sense why I am feeling this way”. If you can understand why it is showing up, you may not feel as “crazy” or scared and then we can find the best way to tackle it together.
We will also develop tools and skills to help relax your mind and body, giving you a sense of empowerment. If social anxiety is coming up, we will look at ways to calm the body while also working on social and communication skills to help you go confidently into social situations.
Therapy for anxiety can help you…
Confidently make decisions
Speak your mind without anxiety or guilt
Experience relaxation in your body
Get a full night’s rest
Imagine not being held back by anxiety. Find the freedom to pursue your dreams.
FAQs
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Anxiety can be body based or mind based. In the body it can include symptoms such as a racing heart, difficulty breathing as if you cannot catch your breath, sweating, feeling faint, shaking, etc. Anxiety in the mind can be fear of something bad happening, thoughts that you are not good enough or you are going to embarrass yourself. You can also have symptoms such as difficulty concentrating and difficulty falling or staying asleep because you are experiencing worried thoughts and physical symptoms. Anxiety can sometimes even be missed as health problems such as irritable bowel syndrome.
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Everyone gets anxious at times. In fact, anxiety is healthy and normal. For example, if you were being chased by an animal, your body will react by having a faster heart rate and breathing faster. This is so you can fight the animal or run from the animal. You can even end up sweaty so that you can more easily slip away. This is all for the purpose of survival. However, humans often feel anxious and have the same reaction even when we’re in situations that aren’t literally or directly putting our life at risk (such as being a few minutes late to work).
When we are experiencing symptoms of anxiety such as this, it can cause us to not function well in life because of sleep issues, difficulty concentrating and possibly resulting in our bosses having concerns about our work performance, social isolation because we are nervous about being in public, etc.
When you find you are not able to function as fully as you once did, this might be indicating that you are experiencing abnormal anxiety and could benefit from therapy. Ultimately, if this anxiety is making you uncomfortable and you don’t like it, then that’s a good enough reason to go to therapy. You are the expert in what is right for you!
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When starting therapy, it is often ideal to attend weekly. Attending weekly helps your therapist have a better understanding of your triggers and helps your therapist quickly provide some skills and tools to provide relief. While these skills and tools can empower you to have some quick relief, getting at the root of why anxiety is happening in your mind and body can provide more in-depth results. For example, anxiety can be caused by a break-up. Dating again can cause a whole host of new anxieties. A person could think to themselves, “Now I have to date again and what if the person I like doesn’t like me back?” While coping skills can help, processing and making sense of that loss can expand your awareness by looking at the deeper root. Ideally, we want to treat the symptoms but also the cause, otherwise we are just putting on a band-aid.
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CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is a type of therapy that holds the belief that it is not a situation that causes us to feel negatively but how we think about the situation that causes us to feel negatively.
The idea for CBT is that how we think contributes to how we feel and contributes to how we behave which then leads to short-term or long-term positive or negative consequences.
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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a type of therapy used to treat trauma or distressing memories that can contribute to anxiety and negative self-concept. For example: a person might have anxiety related to flying due to a previous incident of turbulence while on a flight. EMDR can help in reducing the distress from this memory and increase confidence in future flights.
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Polyvagal Theory (PVT) focuses on looking at the evolution of our biology through the vagus nerve. PVT helps us to make sense of why our body might be in total alarm mode even though our brain is saying we are safe.
For example, you are on a solo hike during the day and you hear the crack of a twig breaking. Your body might respond by breathing a little faster, your heart might be going a little faster and you find your feet going at a more clipped pace. You have your eyes wide open looking for signs of danger but everything looks perfectly in order. You see that it’s a bunny rabbit scurrying through some brush. Your brain tells you that you are fine; there is no danger. However, your body is still responding as though there is danger.
Polyvagal theory can help us make sense of what is happening in the body and have more gratitude for the body’s response as it is trying to help us survive. Additionally, we can work on helping you to gain tools for how to respond if your body is alarmed so we can shift you out of that state.
“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer”
-Anais Nin
Schedule a Free 20 Minute Consultation